Surviving a Quick Trip to Los Angeles

I kicked last week off with a 7:25am Monday morning flight to Los Angeles. Any week that begins with a 6:00am drive on I-285, followed by partially disrobing in the airport security line and then praying to the powers that be that your toothpaste and hair gel pass muster on the conveyor belt is going to be a tough one in my book. The trip took yet another turn for the worse when the European gentleman in front of me waiting to board the plane, sporting a shirt too short to tuck in even if had been so inclined and low-rise jeans, bent over for no less than a three minute stint to execute some sort of detailed rearrangement of the contents of his backpack. This wouldn’t have been overly problematic, except that his undersized shirt and jeans parted ways to reveal a most prominent coin slot. For a fragile mind such as mine, still stressed from doing nonstop inventories of my person to make sure I hadn’t left my watch or one of my shoes back at security, it was almost more than I could bear.

Thankfully, that marked the low point for the trip, for me at least. My comrades on the plane would quite possibly point to 30 minutes later when I woke myself up in a fit of snoring. In retrospect, I’m not sure my efforts to mask the episode with a false bout of sniffles and a subtle backhand drool wipe-off fooled them. At any rate, we all made it through. After arriving in LA I drove to my meeting, where my primary contribution was not repeating my sleeping episode from the plane. After the meeting, the plan was to visit two of my company's stores in the area. They were each 25 to 30 miles away, meaning I was signed up for some LA highway time. Spending the afternoon driving the area, I learned a few things. First, LA traffic doesn't seem as bad as it's made out to be. I suppose the more accurate explanation is just that Atlanta traffic is horrendous enough to inoculate you against the worst the nation has to offer. Second, Los Angeles has casinos?! Who knew? Maybe these are video casinos or something of the sort, but still. I had no idea. Thankfully I was far too tired to investigate further. Finally, there is apparently a huge market for radical weight loss surgery out there. I honestly swear that fifty percent of all billboards in the LA area are for 1-800-GET-THIN, which apparently provides lap band surgery. This is noteworthy, no? I thought the entire population of that city stayed rail thin eating tofu and sprouts.



That night I shook off the lap band billboards and treated myself to In-N-Out Burger, consumed in the hotel room. Enjoying a cheap meal in the hotel room is one of the absolute underrated aspects of business travel, and I am always more than a little heartbroken when my intentions to do so are undercut by well meaning fellow travelers looking to eat dinner together. No such worries on this trip, and so an otherwise brutal day on the road ended in style...assuming your version of style is cramming down a Milky Way from the gift shop of a Comfort Suites.