Jim Mora and BP Undermine My Sunday

Greetings everyone, I apologize for the delay in posting. This update is coming to you from somewhere above Fort Defiance, Arizona (sounds like a nice place for a little R&R) as I return home from a quick business trip to Los Angeles. Actually, I’m not enough of a technology adopter to access wireless Internet during a flight, so technically it will be posted from my house just like every other one. By the way, did I miss a news story at some point concerning some kind of revolutionary new airline software? Somewhere along the way they figured out how to ensure that every single flight is filled to maximum capacity. It wasn’t that long ago that after taking my seat on a flight, I would watch the passengers file by praying that the seat next to me remained vacant. And there was a realistic chance of just such a blessing occurring, too. These days there’s not a chance in hell of that happening. How these airlines constantly teeter on the verge of bankruptcy is a mystery to me. Flights seem more expensive than they’ve ever been, they try to charge you for everything you would rationally expect to be a standard component of the experience, and they are apparently running flights at 100% capacity.

Anyway, a couple of things have been bouncing around in my head ever since I watched the Falcons game Sunday. It was a good one, with the Falcons overcoming a sluggish start to pick up a last second victory that moved them to 3-1 on the season. Still, a bit of the joy of the overall experience was lost right from the start when I realized that Jim Mora would be one of the color commentators in the booth. I assume having Jim Mora do the Falcons game was an intentional move by Fox, as it has already happened multiple times this year. Now I don’t profess to be versed in the nuances of the broadcast sports business, but my assumption has always been that your goal was to incentivize people to watch your programming. I must have been mistaken, though, because Fox is clearly doing its best to drive would-be Atlanta viewers away. For starters, his commentary is a toxic blend of absurdity and inaccuracy. He spent virtually the entire game heaping praise on the San Francisco offense and its interim coordinator, despite the fact that it managed to produce a grand total of seven points for the entire game (incorrect). He also blurted out with childlike enthusiasm that he had “goose bumps” after a play in which a defensive back broke up a seven yard pass attempt (absurd). Heaven help his fellow announcers in the booth if something exciting actually happens. Leaving his wayward comments aside, though, why would Fox think that Atlanta fans would want to listen to or see him in the first place? “Hey, you know what I haven’t thought about in awhile? The coach who led us to two straight underperforming seasons while acting like an immature jackass and going on radio stations talking about how it was his dream to take a different head coaching position.” That was fun, let’s relive those halcyon days a bit more.

"Hey Atlanta fans, remember how miserable Falcons games used to be? Who's up for a little more Jim Mora?"

So just when I had done my best to make peace with the sweet sounds of Jim Mora’s analysis, here comes one more ad from BP about how seriously they take their responsibility to clean up the Gulf in the wake of this summer’s tragic oil spill. Are these guys really this clueless about the American mindset? Do they not get that the public can’t be bothered to care about anything that happened more than a month ago? For the love of God, Mel Gibson is probably about three quiet months away from winning an Oscar, and Bernie Madoff could put out his memoirs and make millions at this point. We lack the ability to stay pissed at anything for that long…unless you keep reminding us! So on the TV comes Iris Cross with a serious look and a somber sounding voice. “I was born in New Orleans, my family STILL lives here,” she intones as pictures of bummed out fisherman and beaches flash on the screen. Oh really, Iris, then why the hell are you a corporate shill for BP?! I think I hate you, and oh yeah, now that I think about it, I hate your company as well. You already polluted the Gulf of Mexico, must you and Jim Mora collude to do the same to my Sunday NFL experience?

"Iris Cross, here to remind you that both I and my company suck."