Prepping for a Snow Day

I’m checking in from a snow and ice covered Atlanta, enjoying an actual snow day home from work. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still getting some work in thanks to my blackberry and laptop. Still, it is a most pleasant departure from the regular start to the work week. Last night involved hours of nervous anticipation as to whether or not the snowstorm would materialize in a forceful enough manner to actually keep the office closed. “Do I or do I not crack open a beer and pretend that it’s another Saturday night with no work tomorrow?” This is the question I and thousands of other Atlantans pondered last night as we stared skyward and willed the snow out of the clouds.

No winter storm in the South is complete without a mass run on the grocery store, and this one was most definitely no exception. The wife and I headed to both Kroger and Costco yesterday. I swear we were not in panic mode, loading up the pantry and refrigerator with enough bread and milk to see us through the Apocalypse. No, we just honestly needed groceries. And unfortunately, I also needed gas. The allure of gas priced five cents below market and the apparent fear of inaccessible gas stations combined to form a backup some forty cars deep at Costco. I, of course, rolled into Costco with the needle on empty, thinking myself a near genius for skipping the many vacant gas stations on the way. So faced with no real options, I waited it out, watching my fellow penny pinchers top off their already full tanks with a few gallons while I prayed to the heavens above for my car not to run out of gas in the line.

Happily, I navigated the Costco gas station area without incident and made my way inside for the main event. I don’t know what it is about that place, but the energy of the place triggers some kind of buying mechanism in my brain that doesn’t otherwise exist. Six giant canisters of cranberry sauce? Throw it in the buggy. 12 pounds of dodgy-looking fish? Let’s do it. Anyway, I happened upon a couple of interesting discoveries along the way. While grabbing a 250 count jar of One-A-Day Men’s vitamins, I noticed that they have picked up an official sponsorship from Major League Baseball. Brilliant! “Hey, what sport really exudes peak physical condition?” the higher-ups in marketing must have pondered across the conference table at One-A-Day headquarters. And baseball is what they settled on. Plus, baseball has spent the last three years plastered across the news catching heat for what their players put in their body, so somehow they must have worked that out in their head as a positive as well.

The chiseled physique of Dmitri Young and his teammates may seem a daunting goal, but One-A-Day vitamins can help.

Then, just before queueing up in the checkout line, I decided to swing by the restroom. And in a nondescript corner of the store, I made an interesting discovery. Is it common knowledge that Costco sells industrial-size boxes of Trojans? I certainly wasn't aware of it. I like it, though. Perhaps the buyer of that product is truly the ideal man, an impressive blend of frugality and confidence that no woman could resist.